As dawn was nearing, he sat on his porch, all alone, Whatever was going through his mind, we'll never know, Maybe during this time he planned his fate, God tell me, did he think this all through? Did he get it planned so well that he didn't hesitate? What was this painful force that was giving him so much torment?God why or what made him feel his life was no longer content? He calls his wife, saying bye to his girls, with deep devotion, Maybe thoughts of family and friends filled him with emotion, God, wasn't there a way of stopping this? Didn't he think how much he'd be missed? God how many times did he just pretend? And Lord, why didn't he talk to family or friends? Why didn't he go somewhere or to someone for advice? Maybe then he wouldn't of chosen the ultimate sacrifice,God, what was stopping him, to much pride? tTo talk or admit he had problems deep inside? Did he realize the emptiness and broken hearts he'd leave behind? Or God was it more important to him to get relief of some kind? Did he ask you, Father, to forgive him of his sins?Did he pray to You to go to heaven then? As he sat in his chair, he aimed his gun to his head and a loud bang was heard, He fell bleeding to the porch without a word, A hush fell all over the town of Bowie, Tx. that day, There were many unanswered questions, but there was nothing to say, He left a deep empty hole in my heart like no other, But I don't think anyone suffers as much as a Mother, I pray he's found the peace he was seaching for, And all the hurt and pain he felt isn't there anymore, Everyone says he's gone, but I feel his spirit here, I believe he's still very near, He's soaring with the eagles, Playing ball in the warmth of the sun, Sliding down rainbows, Having all sorts of fun! You'll find him in your dreams late at night, Or see his silhouette in the moonlight, I've got 26 yrs. of being his Mom and his friend, All my memories and dreams I cherish, til we meet again....