I WAS ABUSED WITH NO WAY OUT

I was tired of the beating so i hit him back and i broke his ribs after that i didn't know how to react.
He was on the floor i stood there thinking should i leave or stay the fear came out and i was tired of taking the punches and the smacks.
He went to the hospital and peace was finally here in my home.
So my grandma tried to tell me 2 visit him and he was telling her he didn't want to see me i should leave him alone.
I was scared cause soon he would return and it would be on.
So when i went to sleep i kept a knife under my pillow and my night light on and i felt safe when i was gone.
He told my grandma not to feed me and not to sleep in the bed he gave me or wear anything  he bought me.
I remember going to church in a bath robe  cause he bought me all my suits embarrassed i was 4 everyone to see.
I remember going to school with whip marks from a belt looking like a zebra.
As i got older my fears made me strike back like a cobra.
2 get away from the beating i use to always run away.
My grandma held me down while he hit me with a can over my head so i bled and i ran to a empty barn here i would stay.
In the morning the cops seen me walking and they called the ambulance then i went to school from there they took me to a  shelter all in the same day.
At the shelter all my stuff was stolen and kids laughed cause my shoes had holes .
I  got in fights all the time cause i wasn't giving up my food and i was always teased about my clothes.
The girls at the other shelters said i am cute but becoming friends was hard because you never know when they are going to leave.
I know looking at me now all the stuff i been through is hard to believe.
I got transfered to a group home for a year .
There i wasn't happy either cause they feed hot dogs and oodles and noddles every other day and i felt my foster mom doesn't care.
I stayed there for a year and i had to go back to my grandparents house.
No one wanted to adopt me or even care and i felt like no matter what there is no way out.