limbo

5 Comments

Tags:
  • Dark
  • ,
  • Passion
  • ,
  • Love

    limbo

    serpent-tongued venus.
    satan is a woman and i think i love her.
    passion, pleasure, fire.
    we descend eternally into romantic limbo.

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    tmcdermott commented on limbo

    04-19-2013

    i love it's conciseness and the imagery jumps. given the sparse but direct nature of the poem, i might offer a couple of suggestions. from the 2nd line perhaps consider removing 'and i think' and move 'i love her' to its own line. similarly, in the last line, maybe 'we descend eternal' and on a new line 'to romantic limbo' also though i have no alternatives at the moment, i wonder if limbo is the strongest word to use. just some thoughts and without any changes a very nice write. congrats.

    gogant commented on limbo

    02-03-2010

    A lot of emotions bared in such few words.........very nice work, Dis. gogant.......................

    dahlusion commented on limbo

    02-03-2010

    A solid write with harmonic conviction. I first read it as "romantic libido" --- the damn one-track mind of mine. Bravo!!

    RHPeat commented on limbo

    02-03-2010

    Loving the self, I think that's the first step toward healing. A poet friend// RH Peat

    Jozek commented on limbo

    02-02-2010

    WOW!!!!!! Anton Lavey would be proud of this...............I Like it

    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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