My Baby

11 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Life
    • ,
  • Family
    • ,
  • Happiness
    • ,
  • Inspirational

    Poem Commentary

    This poem was made by me to dedicate to my husband who was in the military deployment when I wrote this poem. He is my greatest love, the sweetest man, the most extraordinary blessings in my life, and the most loving father of our two kids Hannah and Ryan. I am so lucky to have them in my life.

    My Baby

     You are the reason why, I'm still here standing by.
    Without you I would die, in misery, while my heart cry.
    I'm longing for you, I'm missing you, I'm wanting you.
    Your hugs, your kiss, and your passionate embrace.

    Day by day, it's you I'm thinking of.
    I've seen your face every corner in every place.
    The way you laugh and the way you smile,
    Remains fresh every day on my mind.

    Baby please I beg you, to please stay as sweet as you do.
    And to wait for me 'cause I'm coming to get you,
    To show you how much I love you and need you.
    For distance between us won't let me forget you.

    You are in my heart and soul, and it will be there forevermore.
    For you are very special, that I would always adore.
    You're my love, my life, and my happiness through eternity,
    And I promise that to you MY BABY.

    Poem Comments

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    MrGee commented on My Baby

    10-21-2010

    I am so glad that while navigating I found this wonderful poem. Concise and well written. So many poets use to many words to bring their work to life, however, this work is a wonderful tribute to our military. Thanks an obvious 10.
    Reply to Comment

    Chaos128 commented on My Baby

    08-09-2010

    I think love poems just found themselves a new standard to get measured against.
    Reply to Comment

    kkirkwood commented on My Baby

    07-12-2010

    just keep that same passion cause it is really true when you found the one for you.
    Reply to Comment

    lani

    07/13/2010

    Thanks kkirkwood

    ontherise1984 commented on My Baby

    04-05-2010

    I beleive this writing contains almost everything a 10 should contain. Great cadence, great division of phrases and overall paragraph flow. EACH AND EVERY paragraph has a thematic indicating phrase (known in prose as a thesis and toic sentence). The rythym pattern is fluid in 4/4, the syncopation of ryhyme is consistent (doesn't skip outside of paragraphs except once) and uses a clear structure! Throughout the entire poem, every ryhming word except one are single-syllabic words with long vowels. This poem is as near-perfect, as near perfect can be (its hard to have a 10...this is poem as close as I have ever seen on Orginal Poetry). The writer also uses many adavnced techniques as well. Look here: I'm longing for you, I'm missing you, I'm wanting you. Notice the rate of increasing intensity in each phrase of the sentence? Crescendo, as used correctly, that is rarely seen in poetry at all. This girl nailed it! The emotion staedily increases while she unleashes a deeper layer of her emotion, without going overboard with it. Here is another phrase where it is used: "You're my love, my life, and my happiness through eternity" Awesome work.
    Reply to Comment

    lani

    07/13/2010

    Thank you so much ontherise1984 for your comment. I wrote this poem from the heart and I think the reader could feel it too...

    Artie commented on My Baby

    02-18-2010

    This is a beautiful poem. You have shown a level of devotion, that most only dream of obtaining - 10 from me
    Reply to Comment

    lani

    07/13/2010

    Thanks Artie....

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    lani’s Poems (1)

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    My Baby 11 01/25/2010
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