Once Upon A Time

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    Once Upon A Time

    I have lived my life in solitude for so long, not allowing myself to love, or be loved.

    I had given up all hope for happiness, and had destined myself to be alone for the remainder of my life.

    I strengthened the walls that surrounded my heart, vowing that no one would ever be allowed to enter through the door that sealed my fate in the life that had been chosen for me.

    My thoughts became my dreams, that would haunt me as each day had passed, and my emotions were laid to rest, almost to the point of non existence.

    Then came you.

    A man who once knew love, which had become tarnished and faded with the passing of time. A man who wanted so much for someone to love him, and believe in him for who he was, and not for anything above.

    A good man, who had the intentions of showing compassion, understanding, happiness, love, yet afraid to open his heart for his past forever haunts him, his dreams shattered. His pain and demise surround him with every breath, and his future, in his eyes, is bleak as he convinces himself that he is destined to be alone, unwanted, and that that no woman would love him for the man he truly is. The words of someone who intentionally caused you doubt in yourself as well as your life you have chosen to live.

    I have seen your dark side; I have felt your pain.

    I have known you for such a length of time. As I look into your eyes, I see your confusion; I have felt your doubt. My anger revolves around my thoughts of the person who has injured your heart, your soul, your spirit, and the actions that have put you in a world so cold.

    For a moment in time, I have felt your spirit as I held your hand, your arms around me held tightly as if you wanted never to release me. Your eyes dancing with happiness as you take every breath in my presence. I have felt the passion, desire, and happiness as you kiss me, and I have felt the promise of forever as our lips touch one another. As I have opened my heart to you, I have felt the love you wanted so desperately to give, and I felt the resistance of your thoughts as they set the limitations on your emotions, and I watch you turn away from me. My body struggling with each breath and grief has overpowered my thoughts.

    My happiness turns to sorrow, my heart begins to ache as it has shattered, I struggle to accept your decision to have me remain in your life as your friend, and no more.

    As those words have burned into my mind for eternity, my heart disfigured from the moment you turned away as my soul mate, my spirit weeps, my soul burns with despair I have realized that my sorrow will forever be, as I am destined to live my life in silence, as I have loved you in silence.

    I watch you as I begin to re build the walls that you so easily had broken through. The moat has been widened, and dug deeper to relinquish all hope.The glass replaced as my dreams slowly die, and the stones you so carefully had taken away before have returned in the shape of your name within the walls of glass where my heart once lived.

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    allenjermy commented on Once Upon A Time

    12-22-2008

    This is very good. I could not stop reading even know it was long,my interest did not die, your poem powerful. By far the best one i read today...Don Folks

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    lonewolf2006’s Poems (2)

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