Back then I was like the comforter on your bed
Soft and warm….for a relaxing “lay”
Once I developed my womanly eyes I could see that I meant nothing to you
As my ‘balls” grew
My self respect grew and I was able to leave you behind
Now I find myself floating in that same whirl wind I was in before
Only now our situations are different
Your wife
My husband
And I find my self becoming disgusted with my self
Asking my self questions like….
Why?
How?
What are you thinking?
He didn’t care for you then….what makes you think he cares now?
Knowing that the only thing that binds us is, my weakness for your touch and your weakness for mine
Knowing that when we come together…. If we come together…..How we come together…The magic we make
Intensity so strong… It out weighs our thoughts of how wrong it is for us to be together
And I find myself in a whirl wind of emotions
Wondering
What if
What if I’d never sent you that message on My Space?
What if you’d never given me your phone number so that we could talk and “catch” up?
What if I’d never lost touch with you in the first place?
Would we be together now?
Would you have seen the me in me that I wanted you to see back then?
When you were blinded by the intoxication of my womanly juices
Could I ever be the woman you desire not only sexually be so far beyond that?
I’m I wasting my time, life, energy on a sacrificial, typical slut-ish, adulterous, potential hurtful to my mate move like wishing we could spend just one night together?
Is it really that love is blind or is it that love just won’t show us what we want it to?
If I continue this….what ever it is that we share….reversing time and making my self just as I was once before….like the comforter on your bed….will my “balls” grow once again and I get the nerve to leave you behind me….
Where you truly belong
As I get on my knees and pray that God forgive me of my sins
My lustful thoughts
The unknowing pain I’ve caused my husband
And I pray for guidance
And I pray for blessings
For I am the author of these slut chronicles
Testimony of how Temptation is Satan’s bottom bitch
How slick is the bitch that will pull you to the bottom
How uncaring is she of other people’s feelings
How mighty is prayer
How might is God
And you’ll need both of them to keep your family and household in tack