why dad

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  • Family

    why dad

    since i was young you were always gone
    only thing you left me was a love for a song
    you cared for me like a mule
    you treated women like tools
    you drank to much most of my life
    all you give me is strife
    then why dad did you have me
    for a daughter you didn't want to see
    why dad did you treat me so bad
    with two sons you were so glad
    time is told to heal
    now let me show you how i feel
    now that i got a family of my own
    I feel that you blow

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    BDIsernhagen commented on why dad

    07-03-2009

    it's not totally unrelatable, no. I would suggest working on your meter or rythem. the poem is good, but a little touching up on meter and it willl be quite epic.

    kappendenise

    11/29/2010

    Thanks but i am new to this poem thing what do you mean by fixing the meter or rythem to this poem? if you could show me an example it would be much appreciated

    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

    kappendenise’s Poems (3)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Being Young 1
    why dad 1
    my little one 2