Everyone seems to have one with ears so very pink,

            a cherub’s nose and skin a pale pink rose,

            a perfect little baby with ten fingers and ten toes.

            Sweet baby powder scents fill up every room

            brightening each day chasing away the nights  gloom,

            Snuggled deep against their chests every mother croons,

            lullabies of continents, morning, night and noon.

            Mouths against their breasts heartbeats coinciding,

            nurturing each other, love forever is residing.

            Yes I know your proud as a parent you should be, but;

            my friend, I know the reality.

            The baby powder scent is a weak and poor attempt,

            the underlying goo does all but destroy you.

            Your lavender sweater it’s ruined, I saw it, it was covered in poo,

            your husband bought stock in Glade,

            well you should of too.

            Your fridge is covered in disintegrating artwork

            and the minivan bumper, dented on the way to soccer, its covered too

            You ask me if I’m ready, with a smile and a pat, Condescendingly;

            I hear you say, Start a Family, It’s where life’s at!

            I see the wrinkles on your face and wonder when you last slept.

            I’m sick of hearing about your baby, Precious as they are,

            I don’t want one of my own, I’d rather adopt a star!

            I’m glad that you are happy but my birthday you did forget,

             and when you were reminded.

            You still couldn’t quit talking about baby shit!

            It’s not cute or precious, my god how it stinks.

            Yes they are so cute, Yes I’d like one too,

            but only until five o’clock. Then this day cares through.

            Your table is no longer round, and knights have never beckoned mine

            For my body she is barren,

            but I am happier walking in the rain, at any time day or night I can still go out.

            While you have to wait at home;

             listening to your precious baby, scream and shout.

            If all you have to talk about is this baby’s reek

            Then my dear mommy dearest, a new friend you should seek.