Breath Easy!

1 Comments

Poem Commentary

It was a way the world is looken at me.

Breath Easy!

I look up in the darkness of the sky and wounder why the stars sit so perfect,But do to the fact;they are there for me to wounder and admire theire bueatie,ok lets get something streight;I saw you there ,right there ,oh my God,This woman is so perfect ,she keeps me on my toes,Dam This woman;this what great eyes can see;when,he knows what he have in hand,I can see what other side have;Great Beautie,Hell more then that;Your hands get numb they  shut down,to feel a part of your soul;What?,Some of co-exist of a shadow that lyerks inthe lite,Wow ,it is crazy the way you will take the rain and pour out it's life and make the sound of Love,You can sat the world on fire;butyet cool it off with th gentel touch,My God;this woman drives me insaine with her wounders so you can see what you have,and I Thank You!!!,What us men need;to take pieac of  it and plie it to our lives,we,some how lost focus on real life,or some made thing,we can be proud of?,but we look what most men made and took that and replace it with life:Life;it is my way of getten by,I stay inside of a ball of steal that no one can break through;no I will not let you come near it,not even come around to start any madness of my little peace,I have;stand inside of internel flames of what keeps me going on the outside,and stand strong,so I can be a better man,but it is always thoughs who thank they can put there hands in any thing and come nubbless,No way my friend not in this life time,as long there is breath in my body,air in the clouds,I'm going try to keep my thing intact and I will make it in thisworld one way or the other !!
                                                                                                             u

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Indigogreen16 commented on Breath Easy!

06-11-2009

i get the idea, but i do think that formatting night help better deliver the "meat" the message........good job, nice work....continue to write and read....that will help. Please do not take this or any other comment as a refelction of you the poet... Im critiquing the piece not the poet....Have a great day! Peace!

Indigogreen16

06/11/2009

might help...excuse me :)

Indigogreen16

06/11/2009

reflection..:) another blooper, caught it...lol

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

Lone101’s Poems (3)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Know me frist!!!! 0
Who Are You?! 1
Breath Easy! 1