Friend I Don't Need

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  • GenUWinePoet
  • I am getting my life back together... starting over.

Poem Commentary

reality of life without drugs.

Friend I Don't Need

I had a good friend, she was so very dear
I spent time with her every single day
we were closer than two sisters would be
and we never ever did anything halfway

For many years I cavorted with this friend
Her intent was to maim, unbeknownst to me
I didn't think I could live without her love
But eventually my eyes were made to see

Our friendship grew steadily over the years
So I was totally dependent upon her charm
I was afraid to walk through twilight hours
without her by my side, I felt unarmed

She filled my heart when it was empty
I thought I would die without her support
I needed her guidance to meet the day
I didn't realize how much she'd extort

When she was near I was on top of the world
I gave chase for fear she would leave me
I fought my well-meaning family and friends
I never once thought about what she could be

I wouldn't give her up, I couldn't leave her be
No matter who said what, I never said no
I wouldn't fight any fights, didn't win any wars
No matter what the punishment, I didn't let go

Each time I got free again, I would succumb
Fighting ever so hard, for my sacred disease
I honored her wickedness, held her so tightly
all that power finally brought me to my knees

Last time, they sent me away for quite some time
I picked up some ideas, thoughts of a new way
Each moment I learned a little more about her
I could finally see, just how I was led astray.

But, even loosing my husband, my house, my career
And an extended vacation in prison every single year.
Nothing could stop me, or slow me down.
I felt that I was unstoppable, and had no fear.

She was so very powerful, and devoured my soul.
She had my mind in her hands, and she played games with it
Everything I earned, she owned - destroyed it all
I was a slave to my disease and completely unfit

The final time I went away, I kept an open mind
I tried to take everything in and learn new ways to cope
I put my best foot forward, never once looking back
And this time around, I believe I have found hope

I don't want her friendship, I don't need her love
I haven't looked her up or called out her name
I think I finally figured out, she never was my friend
She was the devil, and addiction was her deceitful game!

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ShadowEyes commented on Friend I Don't Need

06-09-2011

Very nicely written. You are a very strong woman! Keep up your writing.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

GenUWinePoet’s Poems (9)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Friend I Don't Need 1
BUSTED RHYMES 2
Through A Child's Eyes 1
The Mask You Wear 1
Hiding In The Shadows 0
Looking For Love 0
In This Room 0
Don't Let Those Demons Return 2
Stubborn Pride 2

GenUWinePoet’s Friends (4)