Happy birthday

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Friendship

    Happy birthday

    Happy birthday my friend
    My love for you never ends
    As you grow older
    ( and hopefully wise)
    You are still the gem in my eyes
    when in pain i turn to you
    and your always there to pull me through
    Happy birthday my friend i love you
    this is where my poem ends its true
    i send you love on your birthday
    when it is mine send some my way

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    EinStud commented on Happy birthday

    04-04-2010

    I love short poems, nice job on achieving that. The shorter the better. "and your always there to pull me through", any poem in a contest surely should be spell checked. "your" should be "you are" or "you're". It's YOUR choice. I would put a cap on "birthday" in the title ("Birthday"). That is just a preference. No points deducted for that. Look. You have a good poem here. I especially like the fact that you ask the reader to think of your birthday just like you thought of theirs. Life don't happen that way. They will forget. You will get nothing. But here is something you will get... When you find friends that think like you, and treat you as you treat them, then everything you have been searching for, searches for you. ("You" the speaker in the poem, not necessarily the poet).
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    EinStud commented on Happy birthday

    04-04-2010

    Hello. I am EinStud. I give 3 reviews per week, sometimes more, but never less. You will automatically get a 10 from me, but in exchange I will thrash your poem and pull it like taffy. Please remember. I am judging the poem, the speaker in the poem,... not you the Poet. You can argue and justify. You can bring on your friends! But in the end,... you will know,... I speak ONLY the truth. And my opinion can only be swayed by good reasoning. Yes, I can change my mind. So good luck. I will read your poem. You got your Ten. I am not trying to win any popularity contests! PS There is a waiting line for poems to be read (requests). Get yours in, and wait your turn. I will give you an honest observation of what the World sees. No “cutsie nicie” here. If you must cry, cry to mama. I'm not your mama. I'm EinStud. PPS A Haiku poetic response to your poem is also provided (free of charge). The title will include something from your title, so it will be easy to find. Peace Out, your Friend... EinStud .
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    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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