have I changed?!?!

7 Comments

Tags:
  • Emotional

    Poem Commentary

    this is only my second poem that i have shown publicly.
    so please tell me what you think> ;]

    have I changed?!?!

    the people that i love say that i have changed
    but have i really change
    or could it be they only sall
    wat they wanted 2
    could it be they refused to see
    what was staring rite in front of them
    that they ignored the light that was
    perswaying them to move forward
    to learn what they did not want too
    to see the things they couldnt see
    because they were blind
    set in the paths that they have chosen
    but know they are set free
    they are able to see
    they are able to move forward
    but what if what they see they do not like
    what if they wish to hide
    beneath the depths of there lies
    behind the curtain of shame, resentment,
    betrayel, and hate
    to hide behind a mask of lies
    but u see it is too late
    u asked to see so
    i have shown u
    u asked to be free
    so u could see the
    world as it truley is
    so i have let u go
    it is too late

    so no i have not changed
     i have chosen
    i have chosen too let go to move
    forward
    to follow the light
    to leave behind the lies
    and the betrayel
    but maybe it is not 2 late
    maybe there is still a chance
    maybe all you have to do is
    choose too
    take my hand
    and follow me
     we will leave behind everything
    bad, just take my hand and
    follow the light and we will be set free
    together ;]

    Poem Comments

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    captaininsight commented on have I changed?!?!

    07-13-2009

    I love the sincopation of this piece , the timing , it is meant to be read aloud and proud. Nice work realy nice

    scrye commented on have I changed?!?!

    07-13-2009

    You have quite an insight into depth for one so young. Keep writing i like this piece of work. Good job.

    MrGee commented on have I changed?!?!

    07-11-2009

    WOW that's quite a poem. I especialy liked the verse Maybe there is still a chance maybe all you have to do is choose too take my hand and follow me For a 12 yr old u are making good inroads with your poem. keep up the good work. oh, and take this advice from a ex classroom teacher please work on your punctutation. other than that I liked ur poem

    sandmoran commented on have I changed?!?!

    07-10-2009

    Sometimes writing is the best way to express feelings that you would otherwise hold inside. You have a gift of expression, and you should use it and keep perfecting it.

    photochick commented on have I changed?!?!

    07-10-2009

    great job I felt all your emotions and sometimes its hard for families to see what really is in front of them because they want their children to be something they are not and when they start to see the real you they clam you have changed I feel you on all of this and i hope that you don't ever change you to make others happy great poem I hope you put more on here for us all to see there are a lot of young poets here and all are great you show alot of talent and i look forward to reading more

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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