Heart-Stricken Soul


Your heart aches,
But you don’t know what to do.
So you pull yourself closer
Trying to erase the pain,
But, your pain calls out from your soul,
And cries out for your crushed heart.

“To my life, my heart, my tears
I now turn.
Woes me!
Woes my filth forsaken body,
For I have been vindicated in the worst way possible!
Unimaginable thoughts,
Incidents haunt me as I lie here
On this dirt-stricken, blood stained floor.
Where do I go?
What do I do?
Can anybody help me?
Why would anyone want to help me?

I thought that I loved him,
I knew that I would once love him
If I was given the chance.

He told me that he loved me,
But he exposed to me what he truly felt.
There was no trust,
No love.
Just a passion for what he couldn’t have
A trust he took by force.
My virginity!
My soul!

As I try to get up
I feel the blood fun down my thigh,
I step over the garbage,
That I was left in,
To remind me of my stupidity of believing in love.

I start to remember all the books that I have read
About the victims of rape, even date rape.
I have talked to others about the cautions they should take,
But I was to blind to even realize that this could ever happen to me,
That I let my guard down.

Death could be better than this,
This feeling of self-loss.
Only God can help me now.
He is the only one that would ever want to!!”

Kristen Debler
December 1999