Sacred Relic

I hold it so close to me,
And you’re near.
I wear it around my neck,
On a chain, close to my heart
Because the memory of you is there.

I pray to St. Andrew
Because he is the patron of you,
Or maybe he is the one, who patronizes you,
And like a faithless citizen
Just coming to faith in this sudden act of patriotic conversion,
I listen.

I grasp it in my hand
Clasp my finger around it
And like I was holding the
Sacred Crown of Thorns worn by Jesus,
Tears started to fall like rain from my eyes.

I call out to St. Andrew
From inside this purgatory that this relic causes me
To reside in,
I call out to St. Andrew from inside this hopelessness
Of my new found faith.
But, like the false prophets who honor honor-less death
He does not answer me,
And I am left inside this purgatory
Of pain that is caused by losing you.

This Sacred Relic
I cast down from my hands,
Onto the floor,
Breaking the chain and the connection
In between all my fears and frustrations;
I had lost you!

I look down at St. Andrew
Tears flow from my eyes
Like blood from my soul
Soaking into the relic
Like blood from men, dying the earth as a monument
A Sacred Relic,
A remembrance of humanity
Whose lives were shed to justify
The reason for shedding the blood of others.

I put my hands to my face
And ask how we justify the blood
How do I justify it as an American
Citizen, a new converted patriot?
How do I justify it as a Christian?
How do I justify it as a human being?
And, I am now lost inside this purgatory
Because I am now lost in my faith.

I move my hands from my face
And look down at this relic on the floor
I look closely, and I do see you!
Metaphorically to me, as real, as literal as can be.
I bend down and pick it back up,
Grasp it in my hand and let my tears
Wash away the blood, in the name of Justice.

St. Andrew has helped me
Justify this in my heart,
Without having the questions answered for me.

St. Andrew has helped me
Justify it by supporting you
My newfound faith, I found, because of you.
I justify it because I support your life
I justify it because I support the life of our troops.

I hold it even more tightly in my hand,
I pull out my keys and attach it to my key chain
Because of you I still hold it dear to me.
Because of you, I will support my new found faith…

Because it brings you home!

Kristen Debler
March 2003