It's difficult to keep heroes in line.
Once in a while you must swat them behind,
Or send them to faraway jungles to fight.
A hero is nothing if he's impolite.

A hero is nothing when he doesn't keep cool.
He'll make no mistakes 'cause he's not a fool.
A hero thinks little of women and booze.
He works at his play and knows he can't lose.

He stalks a rogue tiger, advances his rank,
Defuses a bomb with no air in his tank,
Catches a spy with just moments to spare,
Lays in his bed with her hands in his hair.

He's flying a kite with a key on the string,
Writing a book, or deposing a king.
An ace who is lucky his biplane got up.
A millionaire questing America's cup.

He'll flag down a train to save it from doom,
Or pilot a spaceship to land on the moon.
In short, there is nothing a hero can't do
Except to be humble—and he works on that, too!