I am realizing for the first time in my life,
that who I am is not who I was,
but who I became.
It's the transformation that I underwent.
And the road I took to get here was,
is.. rough.
For I still undergo it everyday.
I can't release it from my mind.
I'm just too afraid to get hurt,
too afraid to let my guard down.
Too afraid to face the fact that I am a monster.
No matter how hard I try
I can't forgive those who have hurt me
and I cannot forgive myself for being so ignorant.
My happiness fades when I realize it's all just a bandage.
A bandage on a bleeding wound which is yet to heal.
But in order to let it heal, I have to face it.
The pain is unbearable.
Yet that is what I do.
I face it and I can't seem to get others to do the same.
One of the hardest feelings in life is realizing that everything you work for fails.
And there is just no hope for you...
I stand here watching my world deteriate before my eyes
It's a feeling that needs to be felt in order to grow,
in order to form a new layer of skin,
hopefully becoming your armor.
This pain,
these tears,
this world..
created me, and now...
now it only wishes to destroy me.