Life In A Candle-Odysseus

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Poem Commentary

This was a midterm assignment that I had the option of ding. It went somewhere I liked, so I figured I'd post it here. Also note the major overdone Ithika (Homeland of Odysseus) in one of the stanzas. I made it stand out more here than I did on my paper. Let's find out my grade.

Life In A Candle-Odysseus

Ignited candle

It's yellow flame

Birth they call it

A brand new life

 

It breaths with the rest

What makes it special

The luminary

as it is called

 

It lights the room

Not as bright as a sun

With a leak of wind

It would cease

 

It is so fragile

Simple yellow flame

Not hot enough to cook

But enough to burn

 

The waxed life

Encased within

For some time

A short time

 

A drop of life

Hits the floor

Shortened the wick

Turned to ash

 

In an opera

Sung with the rest

A simple show

To appease the god

 

Our light brightens

We breathe as one

Brothers of mine

With light as one

 

The wind blows

But our flames dance

Huddled together

Missing the final blow

 

A violent gust

A flame goes out

My fallen brother

One less luminary

 

Swept for life

To breathe deeper

Yearning for revenge

The wind, another cringe

 

A drop of life

Hits the floor

Shortened the wick

Turned to ash

 

Again we light

The coastal dawn

Our faded life

We, forgotten

 

Rain douses us

One by one, dark

It befalls opera

The darkened room

 

Goodbye they tell me

Their heat growing dim

All have faded now

Their wax has gone too

 

The yellow fame

The golden knight

The heaven hue

The found lost light

 

Dowsed by water

Caressed by death

Cut off from earth

Dark by what stops 

 

Is it she

The moral

Forsaken

The temptress

 

Ignited once again

To have another breath

Revived from the cold dark

By wings, air, by heat, love

 

It was the end

Tribulation cease

Hope was restored

Ignited once again

Keeping the flame

Always burning

 

A drop of life

Hits the floor

Shortened the wick

Turned to ash

 

Another storm

To dim the flame

A last attempt

A final trial

 

The flame's breath

Shallow but

Not yet gone

Still yellow

 

The lesser of light

Higher in numbers

Darker luminaries

A blood reddened flame

 

Placed in the center

Exhausted is the 

Yellow flame of light

Exacting revenge

 

A deep breath

A shadow

Answer of

Athena

 

The red flames gone

The wax has burnt

The wick is gone

Their opera

 

Now lit by yellow

The room is at peace

To live life as free

From macabre

 

A drop of life

Hits the floor

Shortened the wick

Turned to ash

 

Calm is the room

Warm, of which 

The yellow fills

Silent life

 

The wax more gone

Than what was there

Treading the end

The wicks last breath

 

Wax stalagmites

Showing the life

Of not a candle

But of a man

 

Of what remains

Wax not special

To be shown all

It's legacy

 

With a gust of wind

It had not cease

Compared to the sun

The room it lit

 

Goodbye I tell me

My heat growing dim

I have faded now

My wax has gone too

 

A drop of life

Hits the floor

Gone is the wick

Turned to ash

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Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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HeroOfWriting’s Poems (6)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Life In A Candle-Odysse
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My Flame 1
My War 4
Glorious As The Sun 0
Forgery 2
Storm 4