I see now
the time is nigh
for me to put you back
onto that shelf
to tuck you away
and let you gather dust
to lock you up
and swallow the key
and even tho' this pains me
so much
that it rattles me bones
it's the only thing
I can do
I had hopes for us
such fantastic dreams
no, really
you shoulda seen 'em
beautiful it was
I was happy
you were happy
are you happy?
now.
all I have left
is what could have been
if I would've had the courage
to look in your eyes
and let my soul speak to you
and tell you what my heart
dare not say
I wanted what I had
and haven't what I want
as I turn away
I crumble
humpty-dumpty
at your feet
and I scramble
to fix myself up right
but you know
how weak I am
how pathetic
and meek I am
how crazy and lost I am
how stupid and me I am
so how can I be
anything more
than some stupid girl
a big fucking bore
some lame ass chick
who could do nothing but drool
and look like a retard
when she was going for cool
how do I stand even a ghost of a chance
to be a part of you
now?
thank you for showing me
that GOD is beautiful
that he could make
you
so like his image
reflected in a pool
he must feel like Narcissus
when he gazes down upon you
you
to you
I say goodbye
for
now

30 dec 01

for james