For so long, so many years I searched for the one,
The one we all search for, the one that completes us,
That one person that consumes us as they set us free,
You entered my life like a tempest storm,
Brooding, deep, sullenly sensual,
Pulling me to you with a force I couldn’t deny,
Every nerve ending became aware of you,
You were in the depths of my dreams, circling my soul,
Enraptured, enfolded, completely enamored with all that was you,
We were like twin coals burning too fiercely to last forever,
We scorched, we scalded, we scarred the world around us,
Leaving a world of cindered dreams and charcoaled hopes behind,
Soaring, spinning, out of control, in and around each other,
Melded together like molten mercury, ever changing, ever cruel,
Relentless, ruthless, suffocating on our need for each other,
Twisting inside to unrecognizable things,
Some odd mixture of what used to be two human hearts,
Breaking free with cataclysmic force,
Shards bursting forth to tear at the flesh of those near,
Onlookers’ eyes bleeding for the sheer force of our explosion,
All reason, all reality broken, blistered, altered, decayed,
Standing in the wreckage, gathering still smoking shrapnel,
Splinters of diamond hard glass, forged from our heat,
Crawling through what remained of us, piecing what I could together,
Sifting through ash and soot for what was left of what I could find of me,
Until the day my lungs filled with new air, the sky cleared,
The mushroom domed cloud no longer hung above me,
Without a second glance, I stood on shaking legs,
Knees bruised, bleeding, flesh covered in glowing red scars,
Free at last from the tumult, the war of souls that was us,
Perhaps not, perhaps I was fooling myself,
To think after being consumed by you,
After consuming you, that I could ever really be free of you,
A refugee in something bigger than myself, I trudged along,
Searching, gathering, needing hope,
Desperately wanting to find love, steady, deep, salvation bringing love,
Feel the peace that I had been longing for pour through my blood,
As I look around me, my heart flies free, unfettered, untamed,
And yet there you are pooled at my feet,
Every tear, every blood stained moment quivering, rippling,
Refusing to look down, I can’t, I’d be lost in my reflection there,
You pull at me, in my veins, in my mind,
Haunting every moment of hard won freedom from your grasp,
Wondering if you see it, if you feel me as I do you,
Am I a poison under your skin as you are mine?
I’m leaving you, I’ve moved on,
Beyond the torture laden love we shared,
With every step forward that I take, I feel you,
Just past the shadows, just beneath what lies hidden,
Stalking me, memories echoing wildly in the secret places of my heart,
As I look into another’s eyes, I long to feel my heart fill with love for him,
Knowing all the while, it will never be,
You're there behind me, I can feel you, and I wonder if he knows,
The truth that I hide, protect myself from,
I am not free of you; I will never belong to another,
My heart still lies at your feet,
I still love you.