The Birth Of Hurt
The Birth Of Hurtthe birth of hurt
with confused sorrow,
grace and blind understanding
here kneels a guilty, but grateful child
attempting to erase all of these flaws
so I can be free
Fervently hoping to be vindicated of this darkened fate...
This death chamber, not prepared for me
but a judgement still falling upon me
Scrubbing mentally,
emotionally,
frantically
with watered eyes
seeking penitence for my error:
I hurt you
the birth...the death of me
As my patience gets shorter
and shorter
and shorter
my spirit filled with silent rage
until...I don't want to reason with the woman in the mirror--
.....knowing it's the only thing that could have cleared my soul
but...I did what I thought I had to do
Not only did I hurt you
I hurt me, too
I wanted vengeance
retribution
and vindication
I gave the ultimatum
and I'm the one paying
I wanted to 'un-break my heart,
undo this hurt'
and bring back the Sunshine
.....
but I couldn't
re-birth
What was it that delivered me
to this place of shush and solitude
not where I wanted to be....but where I needed to be
on my knees.....feeling helpless
and responsible,
receptive to any suggestions
that would have created a connection between us
the birth of a new day
peeling off layers of anger and pain
feelings damaged beyond trying again
echoes of doors slamming in your face
........
rejection dies a slow death
as the new day delivers a patched up me
a new and improved me
`
let's just name her Joyce
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