As the center of my being, my love keeps me nesting upon the edge of existence. Teetering much less than gracefully and seldom leaning towards hope, I hang on for my life. She gleams with the purest of all reds; covered from head to toe. I watch her bathe in her milky crimson.  I rise at her command to the smell of rust after hemorrhaging throughout my slumber. I rest when she sees fit no matter how passionately I want to keep running. If I were to ever lose her, I would surely cease to exist in two different, but deeply connected truths. The first, one I admire most, is one that resides in my mind. With my mind I can conquer all…except her. Answers come to me and I learn with the swiftest insight, but I am lost in her grasp. Unable to think rationally for myself, she takes over my every thought and I hate how she can have such a grip on my mind. Something I felt was so powerful; my mind. I conciousness crumbles at her feet.  

I try to face her and she pounds upon my chest with all her might. Frightened, enraged and hopeless all at once, she keeps me confused and asking why. There is no fighting back, I can't catch a breath. She comes again and again and again tonight. I freeze. I halt, and bow to her hoping she will give me mercy. All of my thoughts, masked with fiery pain and discord lead me to the brink of an insufferable insanity.I am just an existance throughout the beating; Neither alive nor Dead. I think to myself, "I have done nothing to her to deserve such torment...of have I?". I breathe deeply and endure until she settles and sets me free. Why can't I control her?

After years of trying to fight I have trained myself not to bother. When she becomes enraged, I hide. I cover my mouth so none can hear her screams. When I am in the presence of external love, she bashes me. I lose sight and am forced to re-encounter lost souls I once foolishly thought had been put to rest. She reminds me that it cannot be. She doubts me.

My final thieved truth is life. A gift that was promised to all mankind by a being endeared as the king of kings and somehow mine ended up in her hands. If she could ever mind, I feel she would stop in her tracks and leave me to the demons waiting to feast upon me. She has to power to send me away forever, but she does not. She cannot. We are one in the same. I have found my weapon against my love. As I cannot exist without her, she is nothing without me.