As I sit here alone in my mind I wonder about what might have been

I wonder what could have happened if I wouldn’t have gotten out of the car

What would my life have been like?

Would I still be blessed with my angels-my daughters?

Would my road be as bumpy as it has been?

Would I have the experience and friends or acquaintances that I have now?

Would I have gone through hell and held hands with the devil?

Would I have been knocked to the floor and saved by the hand of god?

Would I have been cut so deep that the scars will never be forgotten?

Would I have washed my hands with the blood of the innocent?

Would I have felt the coldness and darkness of being alone?

Would I have felt the freedom after it was all said and done?

These thoughts imprinted in my mind

Never to be shared except to you

I have to stare into my eyes everyday as I look in the mirror

I have to deal with the pain of the past

I have to deal with the pain of the future and what it will bring

I have to force myself to get up everyday

I am the only one that knows the way

As I sit here and wonder about me and wonder how it would be different

If I would have turned left instead of right

Walked through the day instead of the night

If I would have stopped instead of jumping off the cliff

But I wouldn’t be writing these words that you read, that I read

If my life wouldn’t have gone the way it is

So as I sit here and wonder about what might have been

I’m glad I got out of the car and shut the door and never looked back

What would my life have been?