you're not laughing

          the time has passed

          you've suffered --- cold

          heat burns slowly through

          like pastry in a microwave

          goodbye to the ease of

          being --- the clear seeing

          of the past-future plans

          hello to a beach of sandy

          times between the toes and

          in your hair

you're not laughing

          a kaleidoscope of hope

          shown, taken away

          blown, feathers in the air

          (an inside joke ---)

          a riddle with the missing

          punchline, fine

          and dandy sandy times

          between the toes and

          in your hair

you're not laughing

          the soul is crying in pain

          lost, love kicked the gut

          internally bled --- bleeding

          sanguination, close

          to resignation, white flag

          --- sag in despair

          tearing at the loose threads

          strings of the heart, the

          curious pulling until it all

          comes                        apart

          sifting as the sand between

          your toes and in your hair

you're not laughing

          the day goes by and you

          still think --- cry about that

          moment, those minute moments

          watching . . . listening . . . screaming

          inside

          (can't do anything about it . . . )

          living after

          barely

          bare

          naked . . . shown for who you are . . . were

          YELLOW...a COWARD...lilly-livered

          quivering like an arrow without a bow

          low as the snake that tempted EVE

          a marked card up its slimey sleeve

          unable to pull the trigger

          awakening from a dream covered

          with sand

          between my toes and in my hair . . .

you're not laughing . . .

and neither am I