A  Shopping Spree

I went out shopping on Saturday

To see what I could find

‘cos I’ve got a more than ample chest

And an oversize behind

I went in Marks & Spencer’s

In Littlewood’s as well

It wasn’t going to be my lucky day

As I could quickly tell

I looked at Bra’s & Lingerie

At jumpers and gear for sports

But how am I going to interest men

Wearing Khaki “Dad’s Army” shorts

I asked the girl about mini skirts

She replied “with no offence meant”

Why not go to Camping and General

And see if they’ve got a small tent

But now she’d got my dander up

I’m ready for the fight

So I bought a  two-piece suit, with baggy trousers

To wear on Saturday night

In order to write a rhyme like this

Although it’s only a tease

I’m going to sign off with my pseudonym

Dorothy Violet Louise

aka   Dennis Shrubshall      6th June 2007

Written through the eyes of a woman for a dare.