Old friends come to dance around in my mind tonight.

Memories, not the good ones...the ones that make you believe happiness is an unattainable dream.

Pieces of my life open the floodgates of pain and remind me of the darkness that once enveloped my entire being.

Like shattered glass, a whirlwind blows each moment from the past, through the tunnels of my dreams as I desperately strive for sleep to come whisk me away until the morning light.

Faster and faster, they gather speed, until all I can hear is a steady hum...one that takes on a language of it's own.

"No one loves you"....

"You are not loveable"....

"Your life is meaningless"....

"There is no need for you to keep trying to be happy"...

"Happiness is not something you are ever going to fully know"...

Stay in the darkness, where you can hide...whispers of encouragement to let go of anything I ever hoped would come out of my life that was good, clean and pure.

Impossible. Just let go...