My mind consists of everflowing "what if's".

Things I long to do...Things I wish I had done.

A cold sweat wraps around me as fear grips my very soul.

I try to hold my head above my self doubt

And for just a few moments, it seems I might break free.

My motivation and support have disappeared.

Did I drive them away or were they ever really there?

Sinking more deeply into my shell, I begin to slowly erode even more.

Always seeking and desiring that my reasons for being return.

I am unwilling to have faith in myself, afraid of making mistakes.

The things I need so desperately...

Love, approval, loyalty...I have somehow lost.

Alone, I stand, against the world.

A world that never seems to see the pain of a little girl.

I walk the one way streets of self-loathing.

The world needs very little prompting to make me see myself as less...

Less than a person...Less than a mother...Less than a daughter and friend.

Sometimes, a spark of hope makes me believe for a moment

I can find the strength to accept myself and so can others.

But the old dreams keep haunting my soul.

I am left feeling lost and alone once more.

The woman in the mirror is the woman I must learn to love

And to let grow.

To somehow believe she has value,

As a person, a mother, a daughter, a friend...

But most of all as a child of God.