These sleepless nights began over 10 years ago,

As the lights went out and the tears would flow.


For I knew it was coming like a thief in the night,

All the pride I once had was turned into fright.


I would lay in the bed with my eyes directed to the ceiling,

Praying to the lord, that this brother would get righteous healing.


How can he hurt someone you should adore,

And yet he rapes my soul as I lay on the floor.


I have come to realize I have no control over this,

Maybe this is why I am so damn pissed.


I would love to push him away and never take this no more,

But I am just not that strong and this all hurts to the core.


With my face so wet from all of the sorrow,

And the same things will happen again tomorrow.


Nothing will change and another day I will not sleep,

But I will lay in my bed as my soul cries out and weep.


And this would continue everyday nothing would change,

All my strength has been renewed but this is the same.


When the light comes up that is when I lay my head,

But I can't nap for long because I have to get out of bed.


Catching a few hours here and there does not help,

But knowing my fears of being touched is well kept.


Even now over 10 years later I try to lay my head and sleep,

And no matter what happens when I nod my soul leaps.


I should be able to close my eyes and sleep that is my right,

But I can't seem to do this and everyday is a sleepless night.