Taking My FaYth...

They say it was a lesson, something I had to go though most people say it's all in a plan that only you knew. But why, I mean I did everything right... followed all your hopes dreams and desires, so why when it seems that I only ask you for one thing you take it away from me.

This type of thing is suppose to be a blessing not a curse, and to make it worse you let those girls have what they want, and for the nine months they carry him or her they smoke, and curse and fought and don't even know you... but see me... I prayed for this to come true, all the while before this ever happen I was loyal to you.

I must admit I am only human but I lived for you, only saw people that could see you, didn't live the way I wanted to to please you... so why when I ask you for this one thing you give to it me and then take it away.

For nine months had a smile on my face so bright cause of what I was carrying inside, for nine months had no worries and no fears, I wanted to protect her, I wanted her to know she was loved. Wanted her to have the things I didn't have, the family I always wanted, I prayed for her, had the faith to have her,
I did everything you wanted me to do, I still believe in you I just don’t understand… what wrong did I do?

So unfair, so much hurt to see her, hear her cry. She looked like me, bright skin and everything. So full of beauty. Never saw it coming, that I could only live with her for a min. I already had her name picked out, Fayth. with a y...
I held her in my arms that night, and when she died, I cried. The next day, I cried, a week later I cried. Still to this day I cry.

Yet and still people tell me it was a lesson, something I had to go through a plan that only you knew and to be strong in you. Pray for strength and I will be fine. They say that healing takes time and Faith is all I need,

My responds to them... if Faith is what I had, and faith is all I need, then I still don’t understand why God took Fayth away from me.





                                            3/2007