This Feeling

I want to forgive you but there's this feeling that says I can't.

I want to, but there is something inside of me that says as friends we DON'T stand a chance.

It keeps me up at night and day dreaming, and when it seems that I can finally look you in the face and smile once again,

That same feeling reminds me of why it’s best for our interaction to end.

I don't understand, cuz I want you in my life, and although I don't feel you treated me right, you’re not the worse person in the world, and we are all human, and yes what you did was very stupid, I still love you.

Since you've placed this feeling in my heart, I will never be able to love you the way I use to cuz you don't deserve it,

And you may want to get our friendship back to the way we use to be, but this feeling tells me you have to earn it.

This feeling makes me go thru all types of moods that seem to consume me for the time being continuously asking myself, why me?

I was there for you and you did me dirty, and the only thing you can say after 4 months of lying is "I'm sorry".

So as for me, I keep my self sane in front of you at day and I cry at night thinking about this feeling you caused, get on my knees and pray to God, cuz I know it could always be worse,

And as I pray and cry, cry and pray, I ask Him to take away this feeling... called hurt.

                                                                                                         4/2007