The Sickness of love

14 Comments

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  • Sadness

    The Sickness of love

    The wings of the mist rose from the sea

    The wind dazzling and cold

    The feeling of being free

    Whist me away and I was sold

    Sold on this place for this would be my home

    As I sat, thoughts of you passed through my mind

    Your untimely affair was like a syndrome

    It sickened me for how could I be so blind

    So blind to see that you were the problem

    Your face, your pure beauty

    You were as modest as a national anthem

    I fell in love with you and your personality

    That night we spent together out in moonlight

    That night was quite a night, quite a night

    That year came and passed

    The next the same

    The third year she found out and was aghast 

    She saw you and me together and that night I was to blame

    I tried to reason with her

    You tried to hide

    I sparked her anger

    And she saw me standing by your side

    She ran in revenge at you

    You tried to get her away

    She tried to pursue

    You both were in dismay

     Grabbed my hunting rifle

    I didn’t know

    I shot my lover who was loyal

    And I shot you down in that condo

    I ran in horror

    I had lost you two

    I did it all with anger

    That night I could not undue

    I stand here lost and confused

    As I looked out to sea and remembering your blood

    How it came out flowing and oozed

    How this was your fluid

    Revenge was served in an unjust manner

    And the wings of the mist rose from the sea

    I rose up my white banner

    And I felt the feeling of being free

    Copyright © October 2009
    Dandy Lion

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    rougepriest commented on The Sickness of love

    10-27-2009

    wow nice tale of woe, reads nice too. I`m not adept at this style of poetry myself. many small words tend to dilute the meaning. but it works, thanks for sharing

    DeepEclipse commented on The Sickness of love

    10-27-2009

    Nice comearound. The rifle came out of nowhere. Unexpected turnaround. Love can drive us to do crazy things ;P. Alsoliked how you brought the beginning back around to the end. The feeling of being free.

    PenCatz

    10/27/2009

    Thanx:^)

    nonners commented on The Sickness of love

    10-25-2009

    hell been there done that-you are too young to experince such pain sorry kiddo. well done

    Tempestlady commented on The Sickness of love

    10-25-2009

    Wow, what a horrible story. But well told, you should read some of Artie's stuff, and gunnersdaughter has some in this style. Good work, write on.....

    shortie13086 commented on The Sickness of love

    10-23-2009

    WOW!!! I dont think I have ever read a poem so horrifically great!!!

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    PenCatz’s Poems (6)

    Title Comments
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    Death From My Fiddle 2
    Three Months to This Day 3
    New Friends 3
    The Sickness of love 2
    The Sickness of love 14
    Playing the Cello 5