The truth, the truth…I know the truth.
Little white bunnies all sitting in a row
chewing their carrots, drinking the snow, frolicking in play,
their little bunny ways, how cute they are…
What? Truth about what?
No, no, no, I don’t want to hear it! You’re wrong!
The bunnies are real! Don’t you see them hopping on my bed?
Aren’t they just precious in their little rainbow vests?
Now listen to me and I’ll tell you the truth.
The truth is that my cat, my sweet fuzzy cat,
brings me dead rats for presents.
She’s such a darling cat, my CoCo.
Why, just the other day, she came in from play
with bird feathers in her mouth…
I’m sorry, say that again? Oh no--you LIE!
CoCo didn’t die; she’s right beside me on my chair!
Just look and you’ll see. Why won’t you listen to the truth!
The truth, the truth…The truth is that Ted
sleeps between the mattresses of my bed.
He has this little black box, you see, that he uses to control me.
Through it, he tells me what he wants and needs.
Besides, he knows everything we say.
He’s bugged the phone, house, and both cars by the way.
He’s determined to control my every move.
What? News about what?
SHUT UP--YOU’RE WRONG!
Ted never left; he’s still here! He’s still by my side!
You’re wrong!
The truth, the truth, the truth…
The truth is that Ted and I are to be married.
What? No! SHUT UP! You don’t know the truth, but I do!
We are to be wed after the dog has been fed,
then move to Colorado.
And that’s the gospel truth.