A happy face

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  • Dark Poetry
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  • Emotional
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  • Sadness

    A happy face

     i paint on a happy face, is this what you wanna see?
    it hurts to sit here in these lies
    get yelled at, beaten down and forced to take it
    but i'll paint on a happy face if thats what you want
    line my face with fake smiles
    just so i can be left alone
    I'll dry my eyes, pull down my sleves
    Yes, i'll grin and bare it, for the moment
    but dont ask me to love you
    dont ask me to be civil
    after i fell so hard for you
    you turned away because you realized what i am
    A Depressed cutter, a rape victum, incureable
    i cant seem to love anymore
    i just dont have it inside of me
    so i'm painting on a happy face
    for the whole world to see
    so no one sees my pain, my scars, my fears
    ... so no one sees me
    I'll grin and bare it

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    angel33614 commented on A happy face

    05-11-2010

    SUCH IS LIFE, SOCIETY ALWAYS PRESSES FOR THE IDEAL OF TRUTH YET NEVER WANTS THE TRUTH IF IT UGLY, WE MUST ALWAYS PUT ON A HAPPY FACE FOR OTHERS, FOR OURSELVES AT TIMES, AND FOR SOCIETY. THERE IS MUCH TO BE SAID ABOUT A CLOWN'S FACE, IT MIRRORS SUCH A REALITY, WHY DO WE HAVE TO PAINT OUR FACES FOR PEOPLE TO SEE OUS SMILE, OR FROWN? WHY MUST WE HIDE OUR INNER SELVES FROM OTHERS JUST BECAUSE WE ARE DIFFERENT? I WOULD DEFENITELY NOT SAY YOU ARE UNCUREABLE, THROUGH GOD'S LOVE ALL IS POSSIBLE, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. SO SAD THAT THOSE THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU, RAPE, DEPRESSION, SELF MUTILATION, BELIEVE IT OR NOT I CAN RELATE IN WAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND. MY MOM SUFFERS FROM SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ALCHOLISM AND WAS A SELFMUTILATOR, AS YOUNG AS FIVE I REMEMBER TRYING TO GRAB AWAY THE KNIVES AS SELF CUT HER ARMS, I REMEMBER THE BLOOD POURING DOWN HER ARMS, I REMEBER THE SCREAMS OF TERROR THAT WERE SILENCED BY THE NIGHT... I GREW UP LIVING THIS NIGHTMARE, EACH AND EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. I NEVER HAD A CHILDHOOD, THIS WAS MY CHILDHOOD. NEEDLESS TO SAY I GREW UP VERY YOUNG. THERE IS HOPE, MY MOM IS NOW OVER 10 YEARS SOBER, STILL LIVES WITH DEPRESSION BUT IS MANAGING IT WITH THERAPY, MEDICATION, AND THE LOVE OF GOD. AND TO MY KNOWLEDGE SHE HASN'T CUT HERSELF IN YEARS. I AM NO RELIGIOUS FREAK OR PREACHER BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION BUT I WILL TELL YOU IT WAS THE LORD THAT SAVED MY MOM, YEARS AND YEARS OF PRAYERS FINALLY ANSWERED... JUST RAMBLING THOUGHTS, HOPE THEY HELP IN SOME SMALL WAY. PURITY OF THE SOUL, JOURNEY WELL!!! ANGEL
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    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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