Part one: the child

I know what crying is
You may think me a liar as i am only eight
But all i see now are visions of evil memories
Running through my mind they drive me crazy
Reminding me all the time of all that she put me through
The beatings relentlessly given
The love i was never offered to take
The sexual abuse and the rape
I wonder if she was paid
I wouldnt be surpised
Her drugs were her first prioriety
I know she blames me for all that has gone wrong
Things would be better if I weren’t born at all
To stop the blame and the pain
I must die today
Eight years of what would be called life
I call it death
I call it abuse
And i call it neglect
What i will call the next step
A life after death

Part two: the mother

I can"t beleive i didn't see
All she wanted was love from me
She gave me that love
And so much more
All i did was push her out the way
But she never was in the way
I was just i monster
You know you think to yoursleves it's true
You don't say it
But i see it in your eyes
Now as i look at the eight year old
She's laying cold and pale on the the mattress
I realize the life i gave her i took back like a fool
She may have put the physical blade in her heart on her own
But i put a blade there a long time ago

Part three: the note

All i wanted was your love
All i needed was your love
What i gave was my all
All took was your blame
Your shame
Your pain
Now you can take back the things i took
You want them so badly
Now have them and more
Take extra blame
Take even more shame
Add on to your pain
I am going to a place were they aren't needed
Love is waiting there for me
Keep all the love you have
If there is any in your heart
I don't need or want it anymore