“Hush now mi amore, it will be better soon enough.” I hear in my mind. My veins burn and I don’t know why. My breathing is shallow my skin pale and thick sweat pours from my brow. “Los Diablo, just breathe our time is coming…” Who are you? Why now have you come? “Your time is nearing.” I will not leave now; I leave on my own choosing. I have paid my debts leave me be.
Pulsing through my veins the fire burns. Warm to a slight red glow my body starts its journey. The fold of life has a crease only for me, only now. I will not be sealed. “You feel me close to your heart don’t you? I have been waiting for a long time Diablo. Why not accept me, come home.” I am no longer yours I have another life, I am a man. “Do not be fooled by the fact that you can adjust. You are mine, my love. You will meet me in the black garden.” Walking and shaking my head the sweat becomes thicker than syrup. Bring my hands in eye range I realize it is blood, red and drying. My breath becomes a slower pull rather than an easy motion. I contend to stand my ground.
Senorita La Mort, I was never yours. “Is your skin not cold as mine? Is your heart as frozen as mine? Look into that mirror, is your face not as pale?” I am not you, nor am I yours.
Walking away, stumbling, doubting reality as it should be I find my hands clenching in rage. “I am your lover and have been for many years, why push my away?” I have found… “Found what amore? Nothing, you and I know this.” Love. “Where, a woman, a child; neither have you now, I do.” I am in the hearts of a few. “No, you are in memory; understand the difference between the two!”
Crawling now, I reach towards my bed. To my body is where I belong. “Just let me love you. I want us to bed together. Do you not love my back?” NO, I cannot not now, you are not my heart! My heart lay within life. “Your son will come to love me too.” You blood runs through him, he will love me too.” He will know you and understand who you are but love his life will be his passion, not you!
“If that is what you feel…” That is what I know. “You are a lost soul, who will love you?” I know where my match is… My other soul is lost but not far. “You will never love like you did me.” I already have.
I shiver in the cold of night to realize…. It was all a dream.