Squalling modem

1 Comments

Squalling modem


The neighbors now are wondering,
the reason for the lights
but we know all to well ,.
she stays up late and writes,

we hear that modem kicking in
we hear it time and time again
she has a boy off in Iraq
and a message now to send

dell monitor lights up the trail
that her fingers now will take
dancing now like little elves
the message just cant wait

squalling modem in the night
you must take the words she writes.
Squalling modem swiftly fly
to those lonely barrack lights

the modem now has fired up
it’s time to send her love
squalling modem with your wings.
Fly safely high above,

her little elves are taking rest
she has coffee in the pot
while her son’s off in Iraq
squalling modem never stops

squalling modem in the night
take to him her prayers
travel with the lighting
let him know she cares



 

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linlee commented on Squalling modem

06-07-2009

Hey, I liked that. Hi, I'm linlee, a new person at this site. I'm outspoken, speak my thoughts, critique when I think a poem has merit, and like honest feedback on my own stuff. I haven't put anything up yet, so this is one way, but when I do, feel free to comment. There is a lot of very nice imagery in this poem that I especially liked. You have strength here. "dell monitor lights up the trail that her fingers will now take dancing now like little elves" That's well written and worth reading. I especially liked that it turned out to be a son and not another love poem, though you could probably do that thought well, too. I liked being surprised. Your rhyming is ok, too, and doesn't feel particularly forced. Bravo, rastis. I look forward to reading more from you.

rastis

06/07/2009

Thank you very much Linlee , and may I say right off the bat that I like that username Linlee I will give you postive feedback (critque) through this site or through email..

When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

rastis’s Poems (7)

Title Comments
Title Comments
The writing pad 1
The Family 0
Double minded man 0
Ballad of Bloody Breathitt County 0
Nervous wreck 1
Guardian of the sidewalk 0
Squalling modem 1