As I Fall In

5 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Dark Poetry

    As I Fall In

     I sleep beside you
                                Awake, deep inside of you
    Where, my only need
                                Is to breathe . . .
    Each passing season
                                Brings lessening reason
    For reliving pain,
                                And the wisdom gained
    Granted clarity,
                                Infinitive charity
    Love —     can be feckless
                                It can be so     reckless
    I    , attack the slack
                                And     what I get back
    Pleases my knees
                                As I fall in with ease
    Beside you,
                                Inside of you
    There, my only need
                                Is for you     — to breathe

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    ontherise1984 commented on As I Fall In

    11-14-2011

    Wow! I worked hard on my love poetry this week-I did not come close to this level of eloquence. Aesthetically pleasing, enamouring and romantic in virtually every way. Love the photo and typeface, it adds a great touch! Amazing sentence formation, with uniquely highlighted syncopation (Great line spacing, sentence combining and punctuation help nail this). I also appreciate a non-traditional rhyme, with a synchronous contrast between parts A and B in the phrase, Great write! This is a potential winner for the week!
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    frog commented on As I Fall In

    06-10-2010

    This poem was formatted very well. I like how the poem transferres the needs of one person blooming into another. Good concept.
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    Crush commented on As I Fall In

    06-10-2010

    really nice to feel someone writing with such sensitivity and clarity....i love your work ! easy 10
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    Rhymer commented on As I Fall In

    06-07-2010

    I enjoyed the unique style of this well written piece. I also learned a new word (feckless) of a person lacking in efficiency or vitality. 10 from me.
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    Teardrops commented on As I Fall In

    06-07-2010

    This poem has great flow and is written wonderfully . . I still see someone who gives his all to love thanks Marie
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    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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