Bothersome, beggar me

Feeling alone and tired, wishing time hadn't changed
I can't believe you hate me so much and even cursing my name
I have always tried to take care of you and make you feel wanted
I always wanted to protect you from the hardship and the pain
I know that the blood we share are by cousins only
but I have loved you since the day you came home
wrapped in that blanket and the wrinkly nose you made
You were so tiny and cute
and mean as a snake
but even then I felt something
that can never be explained
Your family was always there for me when I needed a place to stay
I am sorry you feel so jealous and that I am such a pain
Soon I will be able to stand on my own two feet
and though I know I have made mistakes and you will always criticize them
I was the favorite and though I can not help that I am still to blame
Someday I will pay you back for what you think I owe.
Maybe you will come to realize that I have done the best I could and will always love you so
I hate my life and what I have done, things will get better and maybe someday, you will realize that I am here to stay