Girl that I am yet to be

12 Comments

Tags:
  • Pain

    Poem Commentary

    This is one of my first poems so please make comments, so I know what to improve on. Thanks!

    Girl that I am yet to be

    The rain on the windowpane
    is nothing compared to the noise of my pain
    And as I drown deep inside from the emotions that I hide
    I sense there is another part of me
    A girl that I am yet to be

    Why should I have to cry every night cause deep inside
    I am caught in a web of despair
    Why can't I just be free
    I want to ride the waves of liberty
    And become that girl that I am yet to be

    I want to listen to my own heart
    I want to make my own choices
    I want to feel something other than pain
    I want to smile and be happy
    I want to fly way up to the sky and look down
      and see all that misery beneath me
    I want to be that girl that I am yet to be

    Poem Comments

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    kmooney commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    09-18-2009

    Terrific poem Erica. I love your passion. You really write well for a young person. I am very impressed. Many of my early poems on this site I wrote when I was about your age, some 30+ years ago. You should take a look at them when you have time. Look at Sue (A Cinderella Story) and A Girl I Once Knew. I think you'll like them...Thanks of sharing.. Kevin.

    bobarobbob commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    09-18-2009

    sings of hope. i like it. Keep this mindset and you will find her. :o)

    AlexanderCory commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    09-18-2009

    This is good, however I would say that it doesn't flow so well in the last few lines. Other than that I like the emotion and the feelings that you put into this.

    keifer478 commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    08-29-2009

    SEEMS TO ME THAT U KNOW WHO U ARE AND WHERE U WANT THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE TO TAKE U! LOVE THE POEM.

    tenderpoison commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    07-24-2009

    and sweet girl...sooner than you know all the choices will be yours...hang in there, it will come. great poem, you're a talented writer...so keep writing.

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    EricaE’s Poems (5)

    Title Comments
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    2 steps fowards, 3 steps back 2
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    Girl that I am yet to be 12