I'M JUST ALL WRONG'

I realized in life I had so many obsticles,
I had so many chances to never make any mistakes.
But for days and weeks I let my guards down,
I let so much hurt set in.

That if anybody came by my way to speak,
I would feel like they were getting on my nerves so much;
That I would sit back and let their words build,
Then I would turn around and snap on them.

When I knew they didn't harm me at all.
I know I was wrong and don't mean to be,
Is it that I am such a bad person? Did I deserve to be this way?,
Or is it just that I have so much hate?

I can't sleep for many nights on in and,
If I do get to sleep:I cry before I sleep.
I break so hardly down that my feelings and emotions just,
Doesn't feel the same anymore.

I know from time to time I am not me and,
I know people will never understand me.
I have so many hater's, issues, sorrows and pain,
Most importantly reflection's and regrets.

I wonder sometime's dough if I am getting so high above myself,
That my actions get the best of me; I mean so out of control.
I ask for help but I know the only person that could help,
Is the one above me, in my life and, my heart.

I know I was wrong and I should focus on me,
Because I start to see who really cares.
When I am down no one is around and now,
No one wants to even talk to me.

They changed their mind on me all together,
Its like I am lost in my own life.
The last few weeks that no one has spoken to me,
I have had a lot of time to think.

I feel I know I can change but I can't,
I wanna do but I don't know the way.
Its like my life, my mind is an open book,
For everyone to read; but I'm locked inside a cage.

I know I was wrong and that's one thing I can never lie about,
One fact that can not be hidden.
But this is my life; so cold, so lonely, so moody and most of all so shady.
No trusting anybody cause I feel they can harm me.
Like a stranger with no introduction,
Just me so wrong and If you understand then,
Your real, strong and can help and guide me.
But right now its I'm just all wrong I know.