Mine

4 Comments

Mine

I see you
But you don't
See me
I see your pain
And I want to be the one
To make it go away
But now you're hers
You're never gonna be
Mine
I want to be the one
To make you laugh
But now you're hers
Never gonna be
Mine
When you two brake
Maybe then
I'll have my chance
Most likely not
Cause you'll never be
Mine
And when we're out of here
All memories of her
Are gone
And I see you standing there
Those blue eyes looking at me
And then I see
On your arm
Is another girl
Ring on her finger
And I know
You'll never be
Mine
Ten years later
Sitting alone at a bar
Those familiar eyes
That once captivated me
Find me again
There's no ring on his finger
But there's one on mine
He'll never be
Mine
After a failed attempt at love
I find myself
In the place we grew up
No ring on his finger
No ring on mine
No one
Waiting for him
His home just as empty as mine
Our eyes meet
Blue and brown
And this time
I know he'll be
Mine.

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winterkou commented on Mine

12-17-2010

Yeah i feel it , nice write , i agree with bella . another 10 from me.

Lunabella commented on Mine

12-17-2010

I love it. It's a story in poem form. It's beautiful and an awesome right sweetheart ^-^. 10 from me. -Luna

ESSENCEOFLOVE commented on Mine

12-13-2010

This poem reminds me of star crossed lovers who eventually meet up again. I felt you had the emotion on point. Continue to write and read out loud and the flow will improve greatly. This is a wonderful write............E

SuperChick62 commented on Mine

12-12-2010

A very good poem... The only advice I can think of is either combining lines into one, or have only the first lines of a sentence capitalized and the others all lower case to make it easier to read. I like the "Mine." structured into the sentence and bolded. Brings the relevance to the reader. Another good poet who does that is DeepEclipse, you might check him out for inspiration and well, it's good to learn new ways of doing things. I think the story is good, to pass up on love can mean a very lonely life. There is one person for everybody on this earth... We just gotta not pass 'em up when they come around. Very good write, I enjoyed the read. :)

rubyplayssoccer

12/12/2010

thank you so much!!!!!! that poem means a lot to me

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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rubyplayssoccer’s Poems (9)

Title Comments
Title Comments
PMS 0
He 1
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I Hope Not 2
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You Can't 2
Mine 4

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