Always trying to run from my fears and all my pain. How have I lasted this long? That is the trueness of all this. All these things that are constantly racing through my mind, they are getting so hard to just block them all out. I ask myself if I’m crazy, but I know, I am far from crazy. I am just like any other human being on this forsaken place we call earth.

Every moment of every day I am always wondering why did this have to happen to me, this lost soul. Do I even have a soul? I tend to ask that question. so many times I have lost track.

Feeling so lost and so con fussed  in all this is taking everything I have, everything I have to give. How is this mine? Am I dreaming? Please God tell me I’m dreaming. Though I know the truth, this is a nightmare I put upon myself long before I knew the reality of what is not real in this place. Yet it is very real.

Screaming falling to my knees, I cry aloud for help, though not once has anyone nor anything has ever answered my screams. My knees are numb and bleeding out all over, for I’ve fallen so many of times, and no one has ever answered. My screams have now turned into crys. I do not know how much more blood I can afford to shed, before it takes me for good..

So again I wait for it will only happen all over again. I just hope I have the strength to over power this darkness that is now consuming my every spec of air that I en take into this fragile lifeless soul of which is now become my never ending nightmare of fear and agony...