NOTHING
The life I have is an endless path of a never ending darkness;
I've walked along my whole existence. Nothing is what I have come to call it, for this has taken my very life from me. It has taken my every forsaken breath I dread each moment, which I intake. As hard as I try to escape this endless darkness, the darker it gets. I can not for I am over consumed by the power it has over me, knowing this is so hard to face. For this has given me all shame that now holds me to a forsaken place. I am trapped in this nothing, that I wish was not mine. Though I feel I can't live without it. For this shame has been cutting at my damaged soul like daggers just tearing away at it until it has won. Now my soul is no more, I have no soul. Just this nothing that consumes me in away I fear. I am trapped in all this. The nothing that I was so lucky to have been stowed upon with, this nothing has taken my soul, which is now lost.. Yet now I wonder why I can not face this fear I so desperately wanted. How low and weak I am to not be able to face this burden of pain and anguish. Thinking this way makes me weaker, so then the nothing takes even more from me. Why? I now know why I stay here for the pain and fear. I can not live without it, and it makes me feel a power that no words can ever explain. This fear of this nothing, I carry and hold onto so tight at times I cannot even grasp onto life anymore. This is darkness within. This is and has been with me, through my never ending life of shame, that I walk everyday. I still walk knowing the despair I await. To actually realize this nothing has taken me over, is just made me a weaker and lifeless being. I have tried, but I only just give up. It has me in to deep. It controls me.. I am too scared to face it, for I am in so much fear. The nothing is the darkness I can not face. If I try and over power it, I am too weak. Then I realize the truth of all this. All that will do is make me feel worthless and lost in a whole new reality. I'll just become lost and in all this the nothing will only make this an endless journey foe me. So what is there to feel? This pain that only my shame has given to me, will it ever go away?? This place I am at is and I think will always be there. This nothing is to strong, it will not let me leave. If I try, it will destroy my ast bit of the life it has not taken from me. Though now I am only deeper in this lost place. Now only crying aloud in pain, for I am in this nothing...
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