Unfinished poem

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    Unfinished poem

     The unfinished poem, I just can't seem to write on this sheet of white. It follows to me like a bad dream asking to be free.


    Undone, incomplete why on earth are you so discrete? Words flow on the page until the last line.
    How should I end it, with a quote, metaphor, or a simile?
    Any will be fine they will shine in good time.

    Should it be dramatic, happy, joyous, or mysterious to read?
    To have a deeper meaning then what people can see?
    Will I ever come to an ending that I like?
    Will I come out of this victorious and not just in another fight?

    A bright light of inspiration comes to me.
    I'll end it with this line that means so much to me.
    It is a good-bye note to all of you.
    Stay careless and true to dreams of any kind.
    Until next time I say ado to you.

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    sawdust commented on Unfinished poem

    07-31-2009

    well that explains how i feel somtimes well written i try to narrow my focus as much as i can about a subject so the reader has no choice but to get my drift i like it
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    Troubador commented on Unfinished poem

    07-31-2009

    Let me begin by saying you are a very pretty young lady. Now I will proceed to trash your poem ... just kidding . But seriously your writing nedds a little polishing. Generally it is conventional to write separate thoughts on separate lines like in the second stanza where you ask why undone is so discreet You should have ended there and began a new line with Words flow on the page until the last line. When writing poetry word choice is critical like instead of words flow on the page would it not be better worded Words flow onto the page until the final line. It expresses the same thought yet conveys the thought to your reader with more strength. It is a very good poem do not get me wrong you just need to take into your readers emotions as well as your own. Also watch your spelling a good writer/poet always has his/her dictionary handy. Your use of the poetic devices is well done. I shall give you a 9. And I hope that it was right on time
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    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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