From above the tower of Luna

14 Comments

Poem Commentary

Hello this is just a sketch I make about first love, a wordplay haha...I use some archetypal style in this poem,,Enjoy...

From above the tower of Luna

I used to be moon eyed

When I first love

From above the tower of Luna

I only see below

The chuckling squirrels

Smiling rabbits,

Playing deers,

The flight of birds

And in the sea I saw

Those tiny silver wavelets

Under the sunset

 

With our first kiss

Comes my first belief

That you and I will last forever

Trite as it may seem

Love is a play

We both enjoy

For we both win

 

So that’s it

We run and run

Laugh and laugh

In all our paradise

Our feeling freezes time

But reality is warm

The shards of ice

That traps us

Eventually fall

It made us free

But it is painful

 

White napkin of innocence

Is now stained with red

Bitterness of heart

Stroke too

Its dark hue

 

Then I was a jumping doe in glee

Never imagined

That love’s terrain

Have some cliffs too

And now I am a doe

A falling deer

 

I use to see

Those tiny silver wavelets

Under the sunset

But now I also see

The huge wild waves

Dashed with the storm

Even in the depth of midnight

 

I never heard

The chuckling squirrels

But the laughter of the bat

I see no more the smiles of hares

But the grin of alligators

The grace of bird’s flight

Is overwhelmed

By the stalking cheetah

 

Then I always see

The best in you

Now I also see

The beast in you

 

I will never see love

the way I saw before

Now I see

Love is a war

Fought between lovers.

Poem Comments

(14)

Please login or register

You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

Login or Register

jademelissa74 commented on From above the tower of Luna

12-28-2009

Wow! What an amazing piece you have crafted here. The difference between the reality of falling in love and the chaotic ways that a faded love can offer afterward. A great description indeed! Thank you for sharing!

BadBadBear commented on From above the tower of Luna

12-15-2009

Such an evoking work depicting several angles and end results of a first love. Great write!

gogant commented on From above the tower of Luna

11-20-2009

Love takes all forms...some good, some bad...but we must try to overcome if it can be done...and never let it tear us to pieces. I think this needs no edits, and stands as a true work of poetry.........................................................................gogant

stellar

11/22/2009

Yes indeed...thank you for the comment

dahlusion commented on From above the tower of Luna

11-10-2009

"Now I see Love is a war Fought between lovers" —simple one of the most profound lyrical lines that I have read in a long time. Bravo!!

stellar

11/11/2009

haha...thank u so much sir dah, that note u left is so heart warming

Grito commented on From above the tower of Luna

11-09-2009

The game of love and play, it affects us all each in a different way!

stellar

11/11/2009

YEah indeed...thank u so much for ur comment...

When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

stellar’s Poems (35)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Lucent Desire (Selene's desire to a shepherd king) 3
flower (Haiku) 13
I'm a poet 25
Let's do it in the wilderness 13
Mona Lisa 30
A butterfly 24
Leaving 23
Last summer 36
I'm alive! 25
Exaltation 14
Tomorrow 14
Vanish 24
Evil Countess Part 1 8
Valentine's Eve 19
I am 23
Cleansing 37
Drop 15
Flesh Huntress 24
My plea 21
In the night, I wander 20
Three realms 15
What's your complain now? 11
From above the tower of Luna 14
Faint 13
Naked before me 33
What is life 18
Time trekking 13
Renaissance 6
Aphrodite 19
Rebirth of Apollo 15
The struggling poet 43
Golden Ring 12
Haiku 14
River 24
Spring 18