In Goddess keep

3 Comments

Tags:
  • Devotion
    • ,
  • Love

    In Goddess keep

     I thought i saw the flowers weep,
    and heard the birds sing sad.
    For there's a thing in Goddess keep,
    non like them ever had.
    Not by the sweetest perfume scents,
    nor by the cheerful songs.
    When does she breathe such other spends,
    fair music of her lung's.
    But is she then to cause a tear?
    To make all sound stay mute?
    Or rather she, by being here,
    is mother, friend and food?
    I not believe i know it that these virtue's three so grand,
    are my lady's fairest self through which she seasons fair the land.

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    di47on commented on In Goddess keep

    07-14-2009

    Beautiful. Really like the classical style of love poetry. One suggestion I would make is in line three. Not by the sweetest perfume scents nor held in cheerful songs. When she does breathe she exhales fair music from her lungs. Sorry, its the teacher in me. I write poetry all the time. Just some suggestions for clarity and depth.
    Reply to Comment

    Sammylin

    07/14/2009

    Hello again di47on, Those are nice suggestions. But no thanks. It has to feel right for me and i realy sit and wait till it come's out that way. "Fair music from her lung's" just does not do it for me, the music comes from her lung's, thats so, but it also is music of her lunge's when she breathe's out... Thank you for reading and advicing! Greetings, Sammylin.

    Crush commented on In Goddess keep

    07-13-2009

    again, i love it. this is some amazing stuff. well said and thought out with classic overtones and stunning images. another 10 from me.
    Reply to Comment

    Sammylin

    07/13/2009

    Well Crush, your making me blush... chukle. This also is a work i wrote last year. Thank you again for reading this and liking it and raiting it... My day is made now, chukle. Thank you! Greetings, Sammylin.

    dragonfly1023 commented on In Goddess keep

    07-13-2009

    for nature to pale in comparison to this fair maiden she must indeed be quite a gem :D I really enjoy the classic presentation here Sammylin
    Reply to Comment

    Sammylin

    07/13/2009

    Hey Dragonfly, As all that admire someone think of that someone the best, so do i think the best of that someone of mine own... Thank you for reading! Thank you for such a high raiting! Greetings, Sammylin.

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

    Sammylin’s Poems (10)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    The sick fairy 3 08/07/2009
    How fair thy name 0 07/27/2009
    Thou and the seasons 0 07/27/2009
    Thy treasure 1 07/26/2009
    Cupid and thine heart 1 07/15/2009
    Her feet 1 07/17/2009
    Letters in thy name 0 07/14/2009
    The ending Rose 7 07/14/2009
    Ever guiding love 3 07/12/2009
    In Goddess keep 3 07/12/2009
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