Re: a simple man

no place like a shit hole

no place like a shit hole

torn lottery tickets
stale beer ash tray
duct taped bar stool
yellow mirrors
choke smell piss
unplugged music
orange TV glow
hiders from hell
ridders to misery
train track vista
sparks in dirty rain
gummed up sidewalks
condom wrappers in alleys
rusty heaps
rimless worn treads
brick wall smokers
spitters
ranters
ravers
lookers
hookers
toothless laughter

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

ROADMAP TO INSANITY


Look at the world through piles of shit!
Refuse temptation to look past it!
Construct your own reality!
Insist that’s how it’s gotta be!

When life continues to roll on,
Not waiting for you one single dawn,
Use transience next to go off on!
‘F ‘tain’t permanent, 'tain’t worth shittin’ on!

Shit’s just food from yesterday.
‘Fyou want permanent?
Then dive down deep in a pile and stay.

THE PAST IS OURS TO GIVE AWAY,

When it rolls right past you anyway,
It’s time to sniff and look away!

Copyright August 5th 2009
1CrazyGrampa

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Please feel free to evaluate my poetry. How can i get better if i dont hear from you.


E motionalizing over every little thing
M aking 'not much' more than it seems
O bscuring true optimism at every turn
T empting remorse but not getting burned
I dolizing discontent like a thief on the run
O ppressing joy veering your back to the sun
N eglecting a fancy that doesn't fit the whim
A wing at fear while lights turn to dim
L oving the turmoil that harbors deep within
W avering in dust drawing close to the end
R eligious notions that dictate my life
E recting sadness by covetting my strife
C ashing emotions that bounce like bad checks
K nowing all this makes me EMOTIONAL WRECK

Last edited by donnyl3224 08-07-2009 at 04:16:26 PM

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

I'm in! Let me have it. Cause I know I'm one of the ones that leave you hanging. Lol! Anything you feel like saying please do. Either here or my email. cherokeelady1980@yahoo.com


Thanks for everything good or bad!

Kim

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Hi, I am new here. I'm a singer/ songwriter/poet. I've got a few poems posted and I'd love to exchange critiques. Please feel free to give constructive criticism. No offense will be taken. I'd love to hone my poetry skills and I will return the favor.

Thanks,

Mike

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Hello all ! My friend jademelissa74 invited me to this forum a couple of months back, only I have been out of the scene since then. I havn't really written anything since then either, so I think this is a good time to receive some inspiration, and/or motivation.With a little criticism,comments, or positive/negative feedback,I can achieve this. I will take no offense to criticism,in fact I would be delighted to know that my poems are being read.

I am a musician,and my heart beats in 4/4

Thanks all!

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

I welcome any and all constructive criticism. Knock yourselves out!

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

deemish frirth

kin eny men what whattley throwed
the parse centiflic tymly paynt
that kims so cricked in the dim
en all the crays for xenis vain

wen eet in oh blays forage mount
up een so triveleey pentar cairnt
lest seen to feul sum derviush tot
or keem las fein to kibbish frount

oh cass my traint in aimlish sheem
an gorf into thus demmick fream
till all bront seep im coul perkire
das girst cum trissure astin tire.

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Cool! I wish you would post a coment about my poem...good or bad i don't care!
http://www.originalpoetry.com/the-wish_7 or my blog
http://kencolemanpoems.blogspot.com/


Thanks! ; - ))

Ken Coleman

Can you handle it? My Howl \,,/(-.-)\,,/

Follow me into light
you may find it's not so bright.

keep up yur werk, lol

\,,/(-.-)\,,/

Last edited by WordSlinger 08-09-2009 at 11:22:38 AM

a poem is...

A Poem is...
is everything you know and learned
and heard and saw, even those things that
occurred before you could remember them.
All these thoughts get boiled down to
fit onto the head of a pin where only a
microscope can read them.

is a giant story told in itty-bitty words or drawn
on the wall of a cave or spray painted on a water tower
or tacked up on the cork board next to the telephone so
that you don’t forget.

is the emissions of a brain that needs to expand beyond
the boundaries of its skull and copulate with the molecules
bouncing around in the constellations that then get too big to
rejoin with the grey matter folded neatly that is mind

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

I would love some constructive criticism :D
its always good to learn what people think and improve on everything and anything.

Re: Can you handle it? My Howl \,,/(-.-)\,,/

Re: Re: a simple man

i i i

i i i


i worked honest

i paid taxes

i voted

i honored the flag

i took care of family

i recycled and conserved

i respected neighbors

i never quarreled

- with people from

other nations even when

our own said they were

our enemies of the time

i always got along with those

of different races

skin color, languages

ideas, religions, cultures

and monies





i wont take blame for

the troubles in the world

i did not cause them

i behaved like the solution

and not the problem





i don’t bother my mind with matters

of society anymore - beyond my control

i don’t follow wars and economies

that change like the wind

i see politics as a dirty business

i now shy away from slanted news


i leave all this to those less qualified than

i to continue to fumble with



i take pleasure from nature

i write poetry

i am glad to be alive and healthy


i intend to spend the rest of my days like this

i have missed a lot doing all the right things




i i i just intend to be



copyright poetography 2009

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Last edited by Milkman 12-25-2016 at 06:08:07 PM

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Greetings Fellow Poet,
I really respect what you said and I like many others except your invite. My name is Elder Johnson.

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

I invite you all to read my poems and share your opinions and criticisms. I hope that I can bring a sense of enlightenment, humor, reflection, and understandings through my writings. Although before, I've written mostly out of hobby, I'm beginning to realize my gift and invite you all to share. Please feel free to comment openly. Here is a sample... there's more posted on my page and many more to share. Thanks for your opinions!

You had to GrOw.

For the longest time I wanted you to remain sheltered and protected,

Cared for like none other, never feeling disrespected or neglected,

But something happened, something I should have expected,

Because you had to grow…..

I wasn’t really sure how to handle the change,

I wondered how we would react to one another, if things were going to be the same,

I wondered if you could see how my emotions had changed, how the times we shared

Weren’t shared in vain, but it didn’t matter,

Because you had to grow…..

I knew that it was forthcoming before it even came,

I tried to warn you about it but you thought you wouldn’t change,

I knew that was impossible, but stuck by you just the same,

Because you had to grow……

I can’t exactly pinpoint when it got it’s start,

I only began to realize that I was losing your heart,

I tried hard to fight and keep it, but somehow it was lost in the dark,

So when I realized I couldn’t have it back, I had to play it smart,

And then you had to go……

MOBStyles

Last edited by MobStyles 08-17-2009 at 07:22:10 AM

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

I am interested in constructive criticism in order to perfect my writing.
Every effort made to write a poem comes from my heart and soul. Perhaps that is the reason people guard their poetry and are afraid to be reviewed. If it is done in an honorable way, it should provide support and guidance without hurting.
Please read my poems and I will respond in kind.

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Constructive criticism is exactly what I came here for! I must warn you though.... I rarely use punctuation in my writings. I prefer my readers to be able to draw their own personal message out of my works rather than guid them through what I may have been feeling at the time I wrote it so please keep that in mind! Other than that, I hope you enjoy them!
And I take all opinions good or bad openly!

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Im always down for a good bashing of my poetry. Feel free to bash away on anything i post on this site.

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jademelissa74

I have been reading many poems in this site. Some are great, amazing, and simply delightful. Some others, are of very poor quality. Now, I do not necessarily mean poor grammar or usage of the English language, I just simply mean, a poor message.

You know that message that I am talking about? The one that doesn't reach the reader? Yes, that particular one that strikes you with a great beginning and leaves you wondering where exactly the sense of direction was lost. The one that you want to rate or comment poorly but are afraid to say anything to avoid hurting feelings.

Some people have great ideas and just simply need a little help to guide them through. Hints that would stick forever, if they choose to continue to write. I am inviting you to become a part of a circle of poets that help each other, criticize work with honorable words and inflict routes to find the right direction to a great poem.

If you are interested, and can handle constructive criticism well, then let us begin analyzing each other's work. Simply post your reply and choose the poet. Let us begin to praise and applaud the pieces and/or criticize and guide each other. If you would like to convey a praise, then scream it! If you have constructive criticism, please be cordial to your fellow poets and send your opinions in a private message.

Good Luck! Hope to hear from you!

With much love and respect,

Erika Brown


"A poet is raw and unashamed, then finds a way to ease your frustrations with a comforting rage, sooth your spirits like the smoke of sage. A poet keeps you totally engaged with epic sentiments, that have you on the edge of your emotions, make you feel dizzy with lyrical potions. A poet is full to the brim with antonyms, like he was liberated while imprisioned, because life is about our own decisions"

Re: Re: Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

Re: Are you interested in constructive criticism? Can you handle it?

I am always interested in constructive criticism. My poems are all from my life and from the heart. I am always open to improving my art. This seems like a good start. So check out Tempestlady, I think you will see, some are good, some are just for therapy. But your comments i will appreciate, constructive or not, cuz poetry is subjective, and about emotions from the heart.
Write on....