Limerick Cycle


  • Humor

    Poem Commentary

    Messing about with British pronunciation.

    Limerick Cycle


    A musician who hailed from Aruba
    Lost a bet when he played Eukanuba,
    So they made him stand nude
    On the roof as he 'blewed'
    The Star Spangled Banner on tuba



    A Farmer from Ipswich on Boggert

    Fed his cat only well-aged plum yogurt

    But yogurt fermented

    Has alcohol in it

    And leaves the poor kitty quite snoggered


    A Tale of "A Bear"

    A young Cajun boy named Hebert.
    Fell in love with a hairy young Shebert.
    On their strange honeymoon
    Twas the bride not the groom
    That ate her new spouse as he Lebert.

    (To get that one, you have to know how "Hebert" is pronounced in South Louisiana.)

    For Texicans....

    A Mick from Guadelejara
    Said, "My name is Fernando O'Jara"
    I'm a transplant from Limerick
    The name's just a gimerick
    For a lark I just shaved off my Jara.


    Third on the "Roster"

    There was an old woman from Gloucester

    Who batted at third on the roucester

    As she stood at the plate

    The umpire said, "Great"

    At last, we've a batter with good poucester.


    It's Not a Hen, It's a "Rorcester"

    In a sleepy old village we call Worcester
    Lived a gal who loved roller corcesters
    She rode one to the top
    Where it came to a stop
    The attendant had to climb up and borcester


    Liberal Bankers and Critics?

    A musician with a bad septic tank

    Went to get a home loan from the bank

    But they wouldn't approve

    Cause he weren't in the groove

    They said his music had rhythm, but stank.


    So why do I have to be groovy?

    I'm so dull I don't even watch movies.

    I just want a smooth flush

    So what? I love Rush.

    What connection could there to my loo be?


    (c) 2009 by Tom King

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    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

    twayneking’s Poems (38)

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