I did not do my homework, yes it is true.

I have assorted reasons why which I will explain to you.

When you first gave the assignment I beamed on how great I’d do.

But when I walked outside the front school doors, I forgot some of it I’d knew.

So I told myself I had to hurry home, to catch it before it left,

So I hopped onto the nearest bike… what? I’ll tell you the rest.

So I hopped on this bike and it made a noise, like a buzzing sound, and then

 I looked and saw there were two motorcycle tires on the ground.

Mind you I have cataracts in my left eye; I almost crashed three times.

I almost ran into an old lady; the cops chased me from behind.

They lost me in my amazing speed; somehow I got home in one piece.

I sat down at the kitchen table, when my little brother called me.

So I went back out, (I took my car) to pick him up from school.  I was spotted by the cops from earlier, and led a high-speed chase to the rural.

  On those long open roads, while my brother shouted, I disguised my car with others.

The whole time I’m singing Looney tunes to keep from yelling at my brother.

Cops lost me again, (a miracle) and I hurried home to finish my work.

I sat with the book, looked at my brother and yelled “Shut up you little twerp!”

I looked around the house, upstairs, the garage, even the creepy basement too.

But someone had broken in and stolen all the pens, yes; I’m as shocked as you.

But it’s the truth and I tried my hardest to get it done at least by 5:15.

Because at 5: 15 I had a doctor’s appointment for my physical well-being.

I was going to borrow a pencil from a neighbor but I fell and sprained my spleen,

and at the time those things were more important than how 2x plus 8 = sixteen.

I went to the hospital, after that headed home to finish the work you assigned,

but I ran into traffic on the freeway, so that took up most of my time.

I was almost home, when I saw a building on fire; word was with a kid trapped inside.

The police could do nothing, the mother was crying, and the firefighters had already tried.

So I went in myself, with a sweater over my face, and found the kid up the stairs.

I got us both out of that place alive without even singeing any nose hairs.

 The rest of the night I was in the ER room, breathing through an oxygen mask

 I had strong lungs, doctors said I could’ve died, but this five minute fame did not last.

I couldn’t believe this was happening to me, just when I knew how to do the work,

but, my luck was bad that day, it’s sad, that’s why I didn’t do my homework.