Hurting (Help Me)

To you on the outside
You think I'm okay...
But what you don't know is
I'm hurting on the inside...

Sometimes I just wish
That when I say
"I'm okay, really..."
You would look me in the eyes
And say "Tell me the truth!"

TO be honestly with you,
I'm really not okay...

The truth is...
I keep hurting myself...
Not cutting myself,
but hitting myself...

I don't want to be like this,
I want to be happy!
I'm tired of making up excuses
For the bruises on my body...

My head, my arms...
My legs, my ribs...
It's all from me
Always hurting myself...

You may think it's just a phase,
But the thing is that...
I've done it all my life,
and now it's starting to scare me...

I know I have a problem,
whether you want to
Admit it or not...
I have a serious problem...

I get really angry
Or annoyed about something,
There go my fists...
To my head, ribs, thighs, and arms.

Please, someone stop me
Before I really hurt myself!
Help me help myself...
I need help...

Maybe drugs will help,
But I'm not going to
Start back on that...
Never again!

Maybe antidepressants...
yeah, maybe those will work...
But how can I get them
If I don't have money to buy them?

Maybe talking to a shrink...
But I don't know,
I did that for a few years,
I still did it... only not like this.

I have to get some help!
I have to stop Abusing myself...
Have to stop doing this
I don't want to teach my son this...