I Remember

I remember your thin face
your hands....trembling and then still
the fear in your eyes
the anger and helplessness in your voice
I remember when you could still lift your arms
and you took my hand in yours and tried to kiss it
asking me not to leave....it was the last time you spoke
the last time you knew I was there

I want to remember your smile
and laughter
the times you would ask where I was
and I would come to see you
I want to remember the way you played with my children
and made them laugh...
Perhaps it's just too soon
and the memories are still the heart-wrenching ones...
I imagine you in Heaven laughing and running
no cough, no pain, no sadness...
The time will come when I will only remember the smile
For now...I still cry.